ASK Evelyn Home
For sympathetic help and guidance, write to her c/o WOMAN, 189 High Holbron London, W. C. I, enclosing a stamped, addressed envelope.
Dangerous Friendship
I am a schoolgirl of seventeen, and love a married man of thirty-five.
He does not say he loves me, but would like to have me as a friend, and to take me out occasionally.
Do you think there is any harm in this, as we intend to remain good friends only?
I THINK there is a very great danger of this proposed friendship involving romantic feelings. They are already there as far as you are concerned, aren't they? And the fact that you have asked my advice shows that you realize the existence of this danger.
Be advised by me and finish this association before both this man's wife and you get hurt.
You will be much happier with friends of your own age.
Starting Afresh
One of my children committed a grave offence. Is there any country that will accept immigrants without such a fact needing to be disclosed?
Only in such a country, it seems to me, could my child make an entirely fresh start.
You do not tell me the nature of offence, but most countries require to know if an intended immigrant has a criminal conviction.
You would need to inquire at each immigration office or consulate to know the requirements of particular countries.
Are you sure, though, that it would be in the best interests of your child to face life alone in a strange country?
Surely he, or she, has more need than ever of sympathetic parental guidance if a real effort is to be made to lead a better life?
Do consider this well before sending your child away to struggle alone against shortcomings and temptations.
Unfortunate Victim
I am twenty-five, and the only child of a very unhappy marriage.
My parents quarrel incessantly, and both make excessive demands on my affection.
My mother insists that I am her whole life and that she couldn't go on without me, while my father makes jealous scenes every time I go out with a young man.
I would have left nome long ago, but they rely on me financially.
FOR the sake of all concerned, it would seem that you should leave home, at any rate temporarily.
If you are good at your job, it may be possible for you still to contribute a little towards your parents' home, but if they are capable of earning, they should be encouraged to be independent.
Should you decide to strike out on your own, make your plans and stick to them, without arguing interminably with your father and mother.
Endure their pained feelings, but do not be led into quarrels,. which hurt everyone and help no one.
A decisive gesture might make all three of you happier.
A Rift Between Them
My husband has, I know, been unfaithful to me, but because I love him, I forgave him.
Now, although he works all day, he has started doing late overtime and I am left alone in the house until the small hours of the morning.
I do a full-time job, and my housework in the evenings. This, and my unhappiness, is affecting my health. When I tell my husband how I feel, he just laughs. We have been married for only five years, but sometimes I feel like leaving him.
MANY women can do two jobs and stay perfectly happy and healthy. But some cannot, and I think you are such a one.
Without realizing it, you have been so occupied with your chores in the evenings that your house has become no longer a home.
This was probably the reason your husband sought comfort elsewhere, first from another woman, then in the companionship that extra work brought.
Must you do a job in the daytime?
If you gave this up you would have less money to spend, but the improvement in your health would pay dividends in making you the kind of wife a husband would look forward to coming home to after a day's work.
And when the house isn't being cleaned in the evening, it would be a place for you both to relax in, and he might want to stay in it.
Change Of Religion
I wish to change my religion but, as I am only sixteen, my parents say I'm too young to know my own mind.
But I have thought this over for nearly a year and am quite firm in my belief.
How can I convince my parents?
CHANGING your religion will involve being received into some other Church. No responsible minister or priest would receive you without talking the matter over with your parents. He would probably be able to convince them of your sincerity.
My advice to you, therefore, is to see your nearest Church authorities and obtain their counsel.
Happiness Is Waiting
I am forty, reasonably attractive and healthy, but very depressed.
I have never married, although I dearly longed to, and have few friends.
Life seems so empty that I dread the years ahead.
IF you'll forgive my being “Irish” don't be too depressed about being depressed! In your case, I would say that this is a sign of development, you are looking for deeper things in life than pleasure and satisfaction.
Don't tell yourself that all your glooms would vanish if only you could get married, The sort of feeling you suffer at this moment afflicts wives as well as spinsters, and men as well as women,
I suggest that you find something really useful and selfless to do in your spare time.
And read my Handbook of Happiness, price 2s. 3d (about 32 cents)?, from most booksellers or, through the post, from Messrs W. & G. Foyle Ltd., 119-125 Charing Cross Road, London, W.C.2, price 2s. 7d (about 36 cents)?.
(Postage and handling of (about 4cents)?
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